Emails I Receive #3 - Inspiring Quote

It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. -- Theodore Roosevelt

Everybody Likes To Save Money and Shop Right

So, for anyone who can't pass up a good deal, you have to check out this website.


http://www.nomorerack.com/?cr=380094

If you don't already know about it, it's a really awesome website. Everyday they post new deals for new items at significantly reduced prices.


There is no obligation to buy anything. If you like something, you buy it. If you don't like anything, something new will show up tomorrow.


They have items from children's clothes and toys to woman's, men's and household items. Even jewelery, shoes, and purses.

So check it out! You won't reget it! You can even buy and resell these items on ebay if you choose because they are that cheep!

My Softball Team is Not That Great...

Bless their hearts, everybody tries so hard.  Well, most everybody. 

I started playing softball with my sister and her team and I mean this this all the love in the world... We suck.

It isn't for a lack of trying.  We just need some practice.  We have great moments, we just need to harness those moments so they aren't so few and far between. 

At least it's entertaining to watch.  We are a bunch of no hitting, ball missing, hole in gloves, no base running fools out there.  But we have a good time and are pretty good at drinkin beer.

I choked pretty bad yesterday and normally am a decent player.  My fielding was atrocious yesterday.  My hitting made up for it, but my defense was all off. 

I really need to practice, but find I have sprained my ankle.  Practice tomorrow, Seaworld this weekend and a game on Monday.

Guess I will be missing practice.  Maybe next time...

Do Nice People Really Exist Anymore?

So, I tend to be a crafty person when I want to be.  It happens on a good occasion.  I get in my moods. 

I started this project for my sister and I, creating covers for our dog's kennels.  We took a trip to the fabric store to get the necessary materials.  I needed some help doing the math to figure out how much fabric I needed based on the size of the kennel.

I asked the lady at the fabric counter for help and she quickly got on the phone and called her husband.  Apparently he is a math wiz and a problem solver.  She asked if I would mind waiting a few minutes and he would have the answer.  Not a problem, we needed to get a few other items as well.

She called me to the counter about 10 minutes later and passed me the phone to talk with her husband myself.  No here is where it gets good because I have never known anyone to offer this much help to a complete stranger who walked into his wife's store.

He asked me some questions about my project -- the way I was cutting the fabric, sewing the project, etc.  He then offered to come up to the store and show me some ideas.  I didn't have enough time then, so instead he offered to email me the amount of fabric I needed. 

But it gets better...  He then asked me to give him a little more time and he would also email me some dimensions for a pattern to help me have as little wasted fabric as possible.  Wow!  Does that ever happen anymore?  I couldn't thank the lady at the counter anymore for the wonderful help her and her husband gave me yesterday.

So I ask, does anyone really know what its like to help people out like that just for the heck of it?  Has anyone had that kind of help given to them?  I want so much to pay it forward and I have been thinking of ways to help other, I just need to execute them.

So I guess the answer to my title question is yes.  Genuinely nice people still exist in this world.

Emails I Receive #2 - Why She's Divorced

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.  I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.  As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'

I thought.... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... they will remember.  My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.


As I walked into my office, my handsome Boss Rick, said, 'Good Morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday! '


It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..'


I said, 'Thanks, Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'


We went to lunch.  But we didn't go where we normally would go.  He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.  We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.


On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?'


I responded, 'I guess not.  What do you have in mind?'


He said, 'Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner.'


After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said,  'If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.'


'Ok.' I nervously replied.


He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...  Followed by my husband my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....

On the couch....




Naked.

Emails I Receive #1 - Truth For Mature Humans

Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment in an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning sursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5.  I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. You never know when it will strike, but there come a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
11. Can we just agree to ignore anything that come after blue ray.  I don't want to have to start my collection over...again.
12. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will not wash this...ever.
13. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello, Hello **** it!), but when I call back it rings nine time and goes to voicemail.  What did you do after I didn't answer?  Drop the phone and run away?
14. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.  What a waste.
15. I keep some people's numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
17. I would rather try to carry 10 overloaded plastic bags on each arm, then make two trips to bring in my groceries.
18. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I am trying to finish a text.
19. How many time is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they are saying?
20. I love the sense of comraderie when a whole line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in the front.  Stay strong brothers and sisters!
21. There is no worse feeling than the millisecond when you are sure you are going to die from leaning too far back in your chair.
22. Sometimes I look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal condition, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but I bet my *** everyone can find the snooze button from 3 feet away, in 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Emails I Receive Postings

I often get extremely cute or funny emails forwarded to me. I have decided that once I receive them I will add them to my blog for a bit of extra humor. I will start with #1 now and in the future progress from there. Enjoy.

Garage Sale Humor

People who show up to garage sales are so funny.

For one, they refuse to pay what you have marked for any item. Something could be in the quarter box and they would offer you twenty cents. WTF? It is the common law of garage sale goers to follow this rule?

I had something priced for twenty dollars. One person offered me fifteen and when I said yes, paid with a twenty. Again, I ask, WTF?

Or I got asked how much something is when its plainly written on the tag. The other thing I have found is the misterious missing tag when I new very well it was on the item. Then there are the people who try to lie and say an item was in a cheaper box when you know it wasn't.

Do they think you are stupid? When I go to a garage sale, I see a price and if I want the item, I pay for it. Items are marked a certain price for a reason.

But I beat them at their own game. I purposely overprice so when they want to go cheap on me its no big deal. Take that you cheapo garage sale shoppers!

If blind people wear sunglasses why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? That's a funny one. What do you guys think. It was on Google today.

brandflakesforbreakfast

brandflakesforbreakfast

This is pretty cool.

Why Do Men Hang Balls From the Back of Their Trucks?

Yes, I said it.  The dreaded word... Balls. 

Though, not so dreaded in my family.  We all think its hilarious no matter who says it, or in what context.  We all go... Huhu, she said balls.  Then we all crack up laughing.

But no matter how funny I may think the word actually is, it is just a word.  That doesn't mean I want to look at them.  I will never for the life of me understand why men hang balls from the tow hitch on their trucks.  What is with that??!!  Does anyone understand the meaning behind this?  And then they make them chrome!!  Really? 

I guess I can understand (though not really) that women would them on their trucks, but big country men, driving big Texas trucks?  It completely baffles me.  Are they trying to compensate for something or is there honestly a meaning behind this.

Why Do Dogs Eat Grass?

Sitting out on the back patio one day, watching my Chocolate Lab, Snoopy, walk around and chew some grass, I wondered as I had on many occasions... Why do dogs eat grass?


My husband was next to me and he decided to Google it on his phone.  Many websites have many different theories about why dogs eat grass.  The main question being:  Do they eat grass because their tummies are upset, or does eating grass make their tummies upset?  Hmmm.


This imponderable question led me to start this blog.  I thought if this is a good imponderable question, then we all know there are many more out there.  Crazy questions that we all want to know the answers to right?  And just funny things in general.


Google has this great widget on my iGoogle homepage that is called imponderables.  Most of the time it just repeats things over and over, but every now and then, it comes out with a doozie that has me rolling. 


For example:  "Why do they put brail lettering on the buttons of a drive up ATM?"  Hilarious right?  Well, I thought so.  I had to call my husband immediately and tell him.


So funny little tid bits like that will pop up from me throughout this blog.  I hope you guys enjoy it.