Emails I Receive #1 - Truth For Mature Humans

Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment in an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning sursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5.  I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. You never know when it will strike, but there come a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
11. Can we just agree to ignore anything that come after blue ray.  I don't want to have to start my collection over...again.
12. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will not wash this...ever.
13. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello, Hello **** it!), but when I call back it rings nine time and goes to voicemail.  What did you do after I didn't answer?  Drop the phone and run away?
14. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.  What a waste.
15. I keep some people's numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
17. I would rather try to carry 10 overloaded plastic bags on each arm, then make two trips to bring in my groceries.
18. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I am trying to finish a text.
19. How many time is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they are saying?
20. I love the sense of comraderie when a whole line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in the front.  Stay strong brothers and sisters!
21. There is no worse feeling than the millisecond when you are sure you are going to die from leaning too far back in your chair.
22. Sometimes I look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal condition, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but I bet my *** everyone can find the snooze button from 3 feet away, in 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Emails I Receive Postings

I often get extremely cute or funny emails forwarded to me. I have decided that once I receive them I will add them to my blog for a bit of extra humor. I will start with #1 now and in the future progress from there. Enjoy.

Garage Sale Humor

People who show up to garage sales are so funny.

For one, they refuse to pay what you have marked for any item. Something could be in the quarter box and they would offer you twenty cents. WTF? It is the common law of garage sale goers to follow this rule?

I had something priced for twenty dollars. One person offered me fifteen and when I said yes, paid with a twenty. Again, I ask, WTF?

Or I got asked how much something is when its plainly written on the tag. The other thing I have found is the misterious missing tag when I new very well it was on the item. Then there are the people who try to lie and say an item was in a cheaper box when you know it wasn't.

Do they think you are stupid? When I go to a garage sale, I see a price and if I want the item, I pay for it. Items are marked a certain price for a reason.

But I beat them at their own game. I purposely overprice so when they want to go cheap on me its no big deal. Take that you cheapo garage sale shoppers!

If blind people wear sunglasses why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? That's a funny one. What do you guys think. It was on Google today.

brandflakesforbreakfast

brandflakesforbreakfast

This is pretty cool.

Why Do Men Hang Balls From the Back of Their Trucks?

Yes, I said it.  The dreaded word... Balls. 

Though, not so dreaded in my family.  We all think its hilarious no matter who says it, or in what context.  We all go... Huhu, she said balls.  Then we all crack up laughing.

But no matter how funny I may think the word actually is, it is just a word.  That doesn't mean I want to look at them.  I will never for the life of me understand why men hang balls from the tow hitch on their trucks.  What is with that??!!  Does anyone understand the meaning behind this?  And then they make them chrome!!  Really? 

I guess I can understand (though not really) that women would them on their trucks, but big country men, driving big Texas trucks?  It completely baffles me.  Are they trying to compensate for something or is there honestly a meaning behind this.

Why Do Dogs Eat Grass?

Sitting out on the back patio one day, watching my Chocolate Lab, Snoopy, walk around and chew some grass, I wondered as I had on many occasions... Why do dogs eat grass?


My husband was next to me and he decided to Google it on his phone.  Many websites have many different theories about why dogs eat grass.  The main question being:  Do they eat grass because their tummies are upset, or does eating grass make their tummies upset?  Hmmm.


This imponderable question led me to start this blog.  I thought if this is a good imponderable question, then we all know there are many more out there.  Crazy questions that we all want to know the answers to right?  And just funny things in general.


Google has this great widget on my iGoogle homepage that is called imponderables.  Most of the time it just repeats things over and over, but every now and then, it comes out with a doozie that has me rolling. 


For example:  "Why do they put brail lettering on the buttons of a drive up ATM?"  Hilarious right?  Well, I thought so.  I had to call my husband immediately and tell him.


So funny little tid bits like that will pop up from me throughout this blog.  I hope you guys enjoy it.